A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace.
He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?”
She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner.”
The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet.
Her husband asks, “Where did you get the bracelet?”
She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner.”
The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat.
He says, “I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?”
She replies, “Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper.”
Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub.
She yells to her husband, “HEY! There’s only an inch of water in the tub.”
He replies, “I didn’t want you to get your raffle ticket wet.”
2nd joke of the day:
A old man is sitting on his porch
An old man is sitting on his porch when he sees a young boy walking down the street dragging something behind him.
He calls out to the boy, “Hey son, what you got there?” to which the boy replies, “It’s duct tape, I’m gonna go catch me some ducks.”
The old man laughs and he calls out, “You fool, you can’t catch ducks with duct tape!”
The little boy laughs and continues on his way, returning a few short hours later, and behind him, he is dragging 8 ducks, all wrapped up in the duct tape.
The old man can’t believe his eyes.
The next day, the old man is sitting on his porch again and along comes the little boy dragging something behind him.
When the old man asks what he’s got this time, the boy replies, “It’s a spool of chicken wire, I’m going to catch some chickens in it.”
Well the old man begins to laugh quite hard, telling the boy, “You fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire.”
The boy laughs himself, and says back, “That’s what you said about the duct tape,” and he continues on his way, with the old man laughing like crazy.
A few hours later the old man is surprised to see the boy coming back, and even more shocked to see that behind him he is dragging 10 chickens, all tangled up in the chicken wire, he can’t believe his eyes again.
The next day, the old man is sitting there wondering what the little boy will be up to next, and sure enough he sees him coming down the street with something in his hand.
He calls out to the boy, “Hey son, what you go there today?
“The boy responds, “It’s a pussy willow.”
The man then replies, “Hang on son, I’ll get my hat!”